About

Welcome to Defending Grace.

I never thought I’d be in this situation, and certainly not with an entire website devoted to it. But it feels so important to share our story, and to do so right now.

My husband, Jim, and I had to end our desperately wanted pregnancy at 21 weeks, 5 days, on November 23, 2016.

After extensively exploring adoption and pursuing multiple in vitro and frozen embryo transfers attempts, we finally became pregnant with our daughter, Grace Pearl in July 2016. But at Grace’s routine anatomy scan, we learned she had a terminal disease that would 100% be fatal, according to three independent doctors. My own risk was going to go up sevenfold just because pregnancy is risky.

Out of all of the horrible options, we chose the one that felt like the only one for us: to terminate the pregnancy at 21 weeks, 5 days, and spare Grace the agony of birth without functioning lungs or kidneys.

Unfortunately, our situation isn’t that rare; it just feels like it is because so many people are afraid to tell their stories about ending wanted pregnancies and abortions later in pregnancy.

Abortion is one of the most divisive topics in our political landscape today. But a lot of people want to treat it like it’s a black and white issue. It simply can't be though - people confuse strong feelings with absolute truths. I have learned a lot in my 5+ years as a later abortion patient advocate, and the more I learn about abortion bans, the more I realize they never fit the people and situations they are applied to. Simply put: if I was treated terribly in the pursuit of my abortion, which I have never had anyone say I shouldn’t have been able to obtain… are these laws fair to anyone? I have yet to hear a story where I think someone should have been forced to give birth.

I would love for this website to be a place where we can discuss abortion in kind, non-confrontational, respectful ways. To do so, please visit our updates here. I believe that most people are truly doing the best they can with the information they have. I hope that this site can help provide information that helps all of us make the best decisions we can around abortion and specifically my own incredibly difficult life situation, and to support one another with compassion and understanding.

One of the definitions of Grace is: mercy, clemency, pardon. While it tends to have religious connotations, we believe that the word can also be designated to the grace given by a parent to a child, and of allowing them to pass with the least suffering possible.

We also believe it’s how we can treat one another. Defending Grace is our journey from terminating a wanted pregnancy for medical reasons to where we are now: compassionately fighting as advocates for people to make the best decisions for themselves without intervention and judgment from outsiders.

Want to share your story about ending a wanted pregnancy? Please contact me. You're not alone and you deserve support, compassion, and any guidance we can offer.